I have done many interesting things in my life so far and looking back in reflection I can see that I was always a natural born leader. ​A product of 2 toxic relationships I grew up not seeing my dad, he was fighting for his own peace in a relationship with the proverbial “evil” Stepmother. Subsequently choosing to keep the peace within the relationship by choosing not to see me to, hoping this would protect me from the madness. To make the situation worse my home life was no better. My Stepdad, too, was playing the role of controlling, narcissistic head of the household. Roll on abandonment issues and habit-forming behaviours to numb the pain I found sanctuary in my local youth centre and slowly fell in love with idea of helping people. Seeing how that space saved me and learning that there were people who I could trust, fuelled my passion to do the same.  

 

During those formative years I also found solace in music, whether that was blasting 90’s hip-hop on my Sony Walkman whilst doing my paper round or singing at the top of lungs whilst everyone was out of the house: that was somewhere I felt at home. I wrote my first song in year 6 called ‘Foxy Lady’ and I realised I had a talent for writing songs.  I left school and went straight into music college, dreaming of being a superstar and making music a regular practice in my life. Not knowing where I was going, I soon became disillusioned, turning my back on music and focusing on a career in youth work.  

 

Fast forward 20 or so years, I found myself in my 30’s still feeling somewhat lost. I was yet to break to cycle of generational trauma, had a string of failed relationships under my belt and was raising my two beautiful daughters as a single-parent household. I had excelled in my career receiving my Batchelors degree in youth and community work, setting-up multiple youth projects and was promoted to CEO of a rape crisis centre. However, my victim mindset and bad habits were no longer serving a purpose and where severely holding me back.  I wanted to change career and I wanted to be creative again. I had still been making music on and off but never had a product or songs recorded that I could show anyone. I knew that I wanted to release an EP. I didn’t know how to do it or how to turn my vision into a tangible product. In hindsight I didn’t have a clue…but I just went for it, figuring it out along the way. In 2021 I recorded, co-produced and released my Debut EP - Peace, Love, Music.

 

I learnt a few things from this process: You must be prepared to do a lot of the work yourself (unless you have a team). Having a strong creative vision will help you stay on track with your dreams. Social media plays a huge part in getting people to listen to your music. I’m not afraid to admit that I fell short in many of these areas. I did however create 8 songs that I am incredibly proud of and I finally had a product to show people and created a small audience, even if I had no clue how to market myself.  Once the EP was released, I wanted to push my song writing skills and put myself with others who worked in the industry full time. I found an online community of songwriters and took part in a yearlong mentorship called The Song Writing Academy. I had 12 fantastic mentor sessions with 12 amazing musicians, songwriters and even a life coach. I also took part in many lessons and met some amazing people. I continue to work with some of these people today as part of a song writing group where we meet every month to write songs. This journey opened my eyes to the power of mentoring and I still use the abundance meditation techniques that the life coach taught me to this day.

 

Again, though something was missing, my personal life was still crap. I had broken free from one narcissist and was engaged to someone who I had been friends with for 10 years. Thinking this was my one true love. The old saying of ‘you don’t really know someone until your live with them’ was never truer. To cut a long story short he was horrible, he changed, was no longer the best mate I had leaned on for all those years. He used me for my body and guilted me every time I denied him free reign over what he thought was his. This messed me up big time, putting on weight and falling into a massive depression developing negative habits to numb the pain.  This is where my healing journey truly began…30 plus years of abandonment, not feeling good enough, self-medicating and eating my problems away…I was done. Something needed to change.  

 

I started listening to every self-help podcast going, I brought a journal, and I went to therapy. I had a list as long as my arm of things that I needed to change and slowly one-by-one I started to make some changes. It wasn’t easy and is something that I must practice daily, to ensure I don’t slip into my old ways. I slowly started to put time into me, to understand who I truly was, learning to embrace the stillness. I no longer needed to be in a state of fight or flight to protect myself. I could be a sensible adult and I was fine with that. I listened to my body and mind as it healed, and I gained a sense of power by choosing to invest in my wellbeing.  

 

It was this, all this pain, all this trauma, all this healing that led me here…to my coaching and to my vision. I want to help other women who are struggling in their life to create the sense of self they feel they are lacking. To help women find a sense of direction that’s going to help them reach their goal or take them one step closer to their dreams. I want to help women like me who have a passion for creativity embrace who they are as an artist to find their voice and tell the world their story. I don’t want to be told how to do things I want to be empowered to learn how to do thing for myself. To take charge of my life to put myself first. Coaching has given me the tools to do this for myself first and now I am able to help other women do the same. Together we can break the beliefs that limit us and find a way to put one foot in front of the other on a path that is truly our own.